we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
