I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
