Swine flu. Run for my life!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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