I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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