I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize