I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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