I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
