You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
