Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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