She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
