what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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