Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
