I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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