Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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