Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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