So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
