He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
you never un-have a 4some
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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