you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
