he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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