Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
