If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
