i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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