Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
