VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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