I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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