Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize