Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
