I didn't shave. On purpose
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he was CRYING into my vagina
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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