I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize