Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Acid is not a monday night drug
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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