I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
