Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize