If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
