Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
