Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize