Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
