stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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