Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cannot find my penis.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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