Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
