she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
