people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
