I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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