My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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