Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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