Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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