When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she smelled like a LAN party
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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