i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And then my night got REAL pukey
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