ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
