I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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