You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
