this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
