she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my liver is dry heaving
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
