if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
