Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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