i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
