you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
