I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
