Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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