i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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