32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
