does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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