you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
