so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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