I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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