omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
