Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
