yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
