my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
