Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
