So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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