Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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