Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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